Friday, June 29, 2012

Concord and Salem (Historical Silliness)

Day...20? I think?
Anyway, on this day we visited Concord, MA and Salem, MA.
The first was historical; the second was hysterical.


Do I really need the back end of a mattress truck to make me feel less of a man?

This graveyard in Concord is the final resting place of several important American authors.
These famous authors to be exact.
Second from the bottom:
Henry D (David) Thoreau
Thoreau's actual grave.

Nathaniel Hawthorne's grave.

Louisa May Alcott's grave.

Ralph Waldo Emerson's grave.

Emerson's plaque

The view of the cemetery from author's ridge. 

A different view from author's ridge.

Sleepy Hollow Cemetery
The heavily wooded area near the top of the photo is author's ridge.
After visiting a cemetery, we next decided to visit Concord Bridge.
This is the site of the first colonial victory in the Revolutionary War.
A little back story:
96 redcoats were marching up the road from Boston in order to seize a supply of weapons they knew to be hidden in a nearby farm. The colonial militia and minutemen, alerted by Paul Revere and others, encountered the redcoats as they prepared to cross the bridge. Firing down from the surrounding hills, 400 colonists killed several British soldiers, forcing his majesty's forces to retreat.

Emerson's words greet us as we arrive at the site.

Memorial

This memorial was actually the only marker for the spot of the bridge for several years until the bridge was rebuilt.
Grave site of the fallen British Soldiers.

Full site.

Plaque commemorating the battle.

Reconstructed Concord Bridge.

More Reconstructed Concord Bridge.

Monument recognizing the minutemen for the centennial celebration (1875).

And Emerson coins the phrase "shot heard round the world."

The gentleman who made this statue when he was just twenty-two went on to make another famous statue in his eighties.
The other one was The Lincoln Memorial.


Memorial Inscription
Concord field, looking towards the hills from which the colonists opened fire.

From the lookout constructed on the hill towards the bridge.

Emerson's Centennial Commemoration Poem

Hawthorne's view.

Thoreau from his famous essay, "Civil Disobedience."

Louisa May Alcott considering the women and their place in the world at that time.

Thoreau pointing out that not all were free.
So near Concord Bridge stands The Old Manse, a middle-class home built by Emerson's great grandfather and that saw the likes of Emerson, Thoreau, Hawthorne, and others pass through its doors.

Start with one of the outbuildings.

Rebuilt boathouse.

View of the Old Manse and surroundings from the Boathouse.

View of Concord Bridge from the Boathouse.
Emerson's ancestors stood in the windows of the Old Manse and watched the battle unfold before them.

A nice little shot into the river.

The bridge and it's reflection.

The Old Manse
See?

From the side.

Thoreau planted this garden as a gift to the Hawthorne's when they were boarding at the house.


From the front.

This piano sits inside the house.
It is the only thing in the house we are allowed to photograph.
No more than twelve of these Steinways exist anymore.
This piano is valued at over 1 million dollars.
I played "Stairway to Heaven" on it.
I did not break it.

See? A real Steinway!
So after the seriousness of Concord,
we traveled to Salem, MA, site of famous Salem Witch Trials!
(Because that just seems lighthearted.)
Ummm...
19 people were hanged as witches and we are talking about Harry Potter.
When will J.K. Rowling just DIE already?!

The occult!

Even Herbie stopped by (after getting a face lift and ab and ass implants).

He founded Salem!

Spooky sunlight to honor him!
It's a sign!!
I do believe in Santa Claus!
I do, I do!

Do I really need to say anything?
For the record, this is the cheesiest museum in the world.
Not even the PIRATE MUSEUM we saw later was this bad.
Still, it's worth the experience to say you've done it.

Wow!
And this is how you destroy lives!

And this is how you dress your children to destroy THEIR lives.

SPOOKY SHIT in Salem.

ARRRR!!! Pirates!

This man wants to show you his sword.

This man has lost the ability to masturbate.

This is our tour guide.

He wears scary glasses and fires water guns at children.

Real flintlock pistols!

Celebrity Sighting!
Look kids!
It's Johnny Depp!
Oh! Wait. Never mind.
It's only New England's first pirate.
And male model (the tour guide told us so).

Here we have a Tavern famous for luring in unsuspecting pirates to be arrested!
New England's first sting.

These gentlemen are all talking about why hooks are so popular.

A pirate flag!

Another pirate flag!
Undead drinking style!

Another pirate flag!
Undead, horny love killer style!

Zombie Pirates!

Dude!
It's Slash!
Oh, Blackbeard.
Damn, I suck at this game.
Orlando Bloom!
This man is yelling because he got his hand caught in a door.


Pirate treasure (look close! See the pennies?)

It's Erica!

It's a bat!
Because you can't have pirates without a bat!

Richard Simmons: The Later Years.

What The Beatles Reunion Tour would have looked like.

And like good pirates, when we left the museum, we went here.

And ordered Black Bat Stout (what else?!).

Apparently Salem has hipster witches.
Are they called whipsters?

Dude!
A church!
You would think a town that killed innocent people in the name of a spooky voyeur would learn its lesson.

But no. God still has a house here.

But at least here he's LGBT friendly.

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